Christmas '08

Hey... 'Twas another great Christmas in Warren, and despite all the personal and worldly troubles we might be faced with, it is incumbent upon all of us to appreciate the good things and people we have in our lives...This is the traditional "couch picture", satiated by our good fortune and abundance! Hope everyone is well

God

My friend asked me to describe my vision of God, which of course I could not do. That is, a mature concept of God is an understanding of how the word relates to every definition offered throughout history as it is perceived and comprehended in one's private thoughts. How people define God is as varied as individuals, but intimately intertwined with how they define and understand spirit, or religion, or science, or love, or nature, or Creation, or all the other aspects of the human condition. The meditative experiences that have clarified my personal understanding- as it relates to the rest of humanity- is all that I can offer, and such revelations cannot be articulated, rather are intuitive, emotional perceptions of reality rather than blind faith. God in that sense encompasses an holistic vision which incorporates my non-verbal intelligence rather than my verbal, logical reasoning, which together strive to understand the unknown.

   Were I to be pressed further I would say that the word God, at least as it is related to a spiritual experience, is as undefinable as the word orgasm, or sorrow, in that unless one has experienced them there is No explaining them to another person through words and rational means of thinking. They are  in no way less unintelligent or less real than logical, linear ways of perceiving. There will always be a gap in our knowledge, and spiritual, mystical experiences may never prove something exists beyond materialism, but they offer a different way of seeing and interpreting the world. I envision the unity of materialism and spirit and man and God and time and all other aspects of Creation as parts of the same Universal Intelligence, although the loving, positive aspects of that origin have been distorted by some religions into perverse,negative aberrations-called the Devil or Satan or other terms. Science has no answer for the idea of God as being one possible origin of the Universe, including the Big Bang, evolution and all the rest. As the Buddhists would say, the whole conflict is merely a 'grasping for soul theory' brought about by the ego...Get rid of that and peace of mind-and maybe of humanity- follows.

WalkFit

The Walkfit infomercial has been completed and my testimonial is about 2/3's of the way through the program...by the way, those are the original '3,000 mile' inserts I wore for the entire walk, still usable...I really do owe them my healthy feet -which are priceless but only cost me $20 ...and yes, I do still wear a pair in all my shoes..........

Hope

ahhh, yes...so Mr. Obama is a dreamer and idealist whose enemies are cynicism, apathy and hate...but the world has sighed a collective sigh of relief that our reputation-decimated by the Bush years-can be repaired....To those who argued against his "inexperience"..it was "experience" that made the mess we're in. To those who criticized his "socialism" well, "free enterprise" has shown itself quite flawed..What shall it be-socialism or greed? or no doubt a little of both?... I am always amazed at the simplistic arguments of the propoganda machines to justify both positions...Funny thing is, Truth and Reality always seem to intrude into human nature and shit happens anyway. Me? Like John said " I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round..." Who knows-maybe a meteorite will hit tomorrow and make it all irrelevant...I'll still put my faith in Creation and hope for the best , as I have always done...the future is what we face Together or divided http//www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/11/081105192704.htm

POSTSCRIPT: I am the most encouraged I have been in years by the intelligent manner with which Obama is choosing his cabinet, such as Nobel physicist Steven Chu for energy secretary... My God! A president who is not afraid of reason and actual facts! Hopefully the next four years will be the long overdue start of a new future during which foresight has a place.

Optimism

I just repositioned my stock portfolio, which is invested in an IRA in Vanguard mutual funds, and basically exchanged money between the same funds I have owned all along, so by doing that have re-purchased many shares at a lower price. Whether that will ultimately improve my profit will depend on what the economy does in the next ten years, but I sense that the market bottom has been reached and I do not want to miss whatever rebound occurs. Because the federal budget is consumed by three major expenditures: Social Security 21%, Medicare 21%, and Defense 20%... it is clear that entitlement programs make up the bulk of our debts rather than the "earmarks" and "subsidies" that politicians babble about. Now people can and do argue every which way about whether we should be paying for elderly people's medicines and food stamps and all that, but to me the question is whether we can afford them, and there is no doubt that yes we can, IF there were more equitable distributions of wealth. There is NO rational justification for the skewed priorities capitalism has produced, whereby a radio talk show personality or a ball player or a writer or a surgeon should be paid a million dollars while the Essential occupations which benefit society and produce something tangible-such as farmers and mechanics and-are paid marginal wages. Even teachers, who commonly cry poverty, are among our highest paid workers when one considers the actual hours worked per year. Most people-particularly those in power who decide such things-frequently use terms such as "parity" to justify what they earn without ever examining honestly whether any of them actually deserve it; they assume that because so and so makes this much then they should too. Yet the society can survive without ballplayers and doctors and politicians, but farmers? or garbage men? Perhaps the 100 Billion dollars that Wall Street financiers gave themselves as bonuses over just the last 3 years(...no doubt skimmed off potential profits that Could have been distributed to IRA's and 401ks) could be distributed to the truly needy and there would be plenty of money to be shared among people-with no need for new taxes. How about it Brad Pitt, or Rush Limbaugh, or the rest of you? Rather than attend charity fund raisers, just refuse your salary for the rest of your life and donate that to the starving in Haiti. As globalization spreads the wealth between nations, there will be a lot more shifting of power in the coming decades, and unfortunately the United States may not be one of the winners. It depends on whether we refocus our priorities and decide to take action in some critically needed areas, not least of which is weaning ourselves of foreign dependencies and reinvesting in some good old fashioned elbow grease.

Watkins Glen, NY

Just got back from a weekend with Beth at Watkins Glen, where there is a gorge trail that is one of my top ten neatest places in the entire country...The trail follows the stream for about 1.5 miles and has been made accessible by a series of tunnels and astounding stonework cut into the side of the chasm...The whole feel of the place is like a medieval fantasy land- as if gnomes or dragons are going to appear from a crevice...Pictures don't do it justice, but those of you who have seen it know what I'm talking about...Lord of the Rings for real...!!

Hmmm

I was going to say something just now, but noticed that I had said something fairly pessimistic in my last entry...and people are still whining about what so and so said twenty years ago and bitching because they can no longer afford 3 bathroom houses...The best news I've read lately is about GM's plug in hybrid to be released in 2010 which will go 40 miles on battery power and another 360 using a small engine to charge the battery, for a total of 400 miles on about 8 gallons of gas. Two years too late but it takes a crisis to spur action and hopefully it's not too late in the larger picture....Part of me believes that a major economic depression would be beneficial to many Americans by adjusting their attitudes to a more appreciative state, but I am outraged that it was obscene greed that put the entire world into this precarious economic condition..The terrorists who want to bring down Capitalism merely need to sit back and watch-no need of bombs...I get weary sometimes watching human nature destroy itself when there is/was so much potential, and I get disgusted that we are killing the rest of the planet along with us. Maybe it is part of the master plan and our reign is nearly over...maybe we just need another shot of hope and courage and cooperation and innovation..I'm just not convinced that people in this nation have it in them anymore..we'll see... If anyone is looking to me all I can say is that I slept in a ditch with a smile on my face so we don't need all the materialism to be happy...but I also sometimes think that my thought processes and opinions diverge so far from the average citizen that I don't even bother to engage in the dialogue anymore

foul moods

....been moping around today, feeling sorry for myself for stupid reasons and expressing cynicism about the state of the world, and while I shall never apologize for such moods nor try to be Pollyannish about life...at the same time that I am feeling like this I am aware that it is a childish, self absorbed condition which shows lack of appreciation for the many good things I have...It is an odd mental condition when problems that seemed trivial yesterday acquire exaggerated gravity today, yet nothing about them has changed and tomorrow they will seem trivial again because, after all, most of them Are trivial and the ones that aren't are not worth obsessing over. There is a certain arrogance to a bad mood, as if in our insolence we honestly presume that we know what is best for the world,or other people,or that whether the Democrats or the Republicans win or whether climate change does or does not occur really makes a difference to the Universe... I have known one thing about foul moods for a long time, which is that I analyze them a lot more than I analyze my good moods, probably because feeling poorly simply feels worse than feeling good,and is more difficult to live with.  Basically, cynicism and irritability are forms of anger, and anger often arises from the pride or fear that comes before we admit to the underlying pain that is their root cause. Until we express our hurt in all it's primal intensity , we lash out or blame external reasons...Over time our self examination, as well as expressing feelings without judgement, and talking, and writing, and music, and walking, and watching nature,and most of all- love and empathy- heal us. That's life... in my heart I never forget that I have it good when I see other people with Real problems...

Paul Rodgers

Through the generosity of a long time guitar buddy, who currently is president of the Quick Chek convenience store chain in the NJ/NY area, a friend and I had the opportunity to meet Paul Rodgers-the lead vocalist in Free and Bad Company who currently tours with Queen and his own bands. They performed mostly old Bad Company and Free songs in what was an excellent performance...there is No doubt that the guy can still sing! The venue was a balloon festival for whom Quick Chek is a sponsor, which is the largest festival east of the Mississippi, rivaled only by another festival in Albuquerque, New Mexico. http://balloonfestival.com/

After the show we waited in a backstage tent until Rodgers came in, where he shook hands and posed for pictures with us, then signed autographs for those who wanted one. He was gracious and friendly the whole time-a genuinely nice guy to show patience for what probably has become a somewhat boring obligation after so many years. I thanked him for all the great music and mentioned some obscure tunes to which he replied "Thanks for remembering! " ...so..for those of us whom have been fans for decades this was a genuine treat-a once in a lifetime opportunity to personally thank an artist whose work we have been admiring since we were kids. In the autumn Rodgers begins another world tour with Queen, so if you get the chance to see them, don't hesitate!

...recently helped a woman move from her house on a hill to an apartment in town, and built some fires to burn the trash, and a few other things, talking and laughing most of the time, and I could not help but notice the spontaneous good vibes. I don't really trust expectations anymore regarding women -considering all the illusions I have followed-but the present moment keeps returning both of us to peaceful understanding and laughter, so...goin with the flow...
Do walls always arise from fear? Of sorrow, or rejection,or some other pain we build shields against all of our lives?... within and between minds...to hold onto some illusion of security or power that benefits noone over time...
..."Boys of mine, as your fortune comes to carry you down the line, and you watch while the changes unfold, and you sort among the stories you'll be told...If some pieces of the picture are hard to find, and the answers to your questions are hard to hold...Take good care of your mother, when you're making up your mind.. Should one thing or another, take you from behind....Though the world may make you hard and wild, and determine how your life is styled, when you've come to feel that you're the only child...Take good care of your brother...Let the disappointments pass, let the laughter fill your glass, let your illusions last until they shatter...Whatever you might hope to find among the thoughts that'll crowd your mind..There won't be many that ever really matter.. Take good care of your mother... and remember to be kind, when the pain of another will serve you to remind.. that there are those who feel themselves exiled..on whom the fortune never smiled, and upon whose lives the heartache has been piled..they're just looking for another lonely child... And when you've found another soul who sees into your own.. take good care of each other...take good care of each other...when you're thinking you're alone...beware of each other... when you're looking for something of your own... take good care of each other...take good care of each other..." -J.Browne

The Future?

I hate to sound alarmist, and sometimes I truly wish I could return to blissful ignorance, but if scientific projections are accurate, there is a real possibility that the oceans will be virtually empty by 2030, and if honeybees continue to die from CCD( colony collapse disorder) the major source of pollination for All flowering plants ( fruits,vegetables,nuts, cotton etc) will vanish by 2035...These-and other enviromental issues- are Extremely Serious problems facing this planet and the future of humanity, nevermind the political and economic consequences of oil and other resource scarcity or global warming...Fossil records show that 90% of all species that have ever existed have vanished, and that we are in the midst of what seems to be another mass extinction, apparently accelerated by humanity through loss of habitat and pollution and everything else we do...I guess I simply have to throw up my hands and say the planet would be better off without us.... even if we survive, our quality of life will be greatly reduced if we lose all our flowers and are forced to eat a gruel made of rice and corn and wheat-which are pollinated by the wind. Yet I still see people whining about trivial complaints and talking heads on the television arguing about inane minutiae...

How can we possibly call ourselves "intelligent" beings when this is our legacy? Is human nature really so selfish and short sighted? ...have I been a dreamer to expect more of my own species? Hopefully this doomsday scenario is only one possibility, yet it is some of the smartest, most informed people alive who are warning of it, so I can't help wondering if everyone else is simply putting their heads in the sand.

Creativity

Here is a work in progress of an artist I know who lives near Allentown, PA ..her website is http://flickr.com/jillo I know for a fact that there were moments of intense frustration when her pen slipped and she thought all was lost, but ultimately she persevered so that the result became the culmination of two weeks of intense, sometimes tedious effort. As a privilege of winning a contest last fall for a painting of her daughter, she has been invited to exhibit several compositions at Lafayette College in Easton, PA, one of which will be the completed version of this drawing.
Art-or any creative endeavor-is often a very solitary occupation, with long hours in isolation that the public never sees, and that is both a source of profound joy and misery for many creative people. There is a quote by John Lennon where he said "If I could be a fucking fisherman, I would, you know. If I had the capabilities of being something other than I am, I would. It's no fun being an artist. You know, like writing, it isn't fun, it's torture. I read about Van Gogh, Beethoven, any of them--I just read an article the other day--well, if they'd had psychiatrists we wouldn't have had Gauguin's great pictures. And these fucking bastards just sucking us to death, that's about all that we can do, is do it like circus animals. I resent being an artist, in that respect, I resent performing for fucking idiots that don't know anything. They can't feel, I'm the one that's feeling, because I'm the one expressing. They live vicariously through me and other artists, and we are the ones...even with the boxers, when Oscar (Bonnaventura) comes in the ring, they are booing the shit out of him. He hit Clay once and they are cheering him. That's what I resent, you know. I'd sooner be in the audience, really, but I'm not capable of it. One of my big things is that I wish I had been a fisherman. I know it sounds silly, and I'd sooner be rich than poor and all that shit, but the pain...I wish I was...ignorance is bliss or something. If you don't know, man, there's no pain, probably there is, but that's how I express it. "

--John Lennon

...and there are Many artists who struggle and never obtain the fame and fortune of Lennon, so obviously there is something deep within them, a creative compulsion that cannot be resisted, and it is all they can do to live as they must. I suppose that carpenters and mechanics and other trades people-if they are any good- also enter a transcendent zone in which they commune with something larger than themselves to figure out a problem, where time slips away and they have the same eureka! moments as happens with artists. In that sense I do not think artists are different from other people although perhaps more sensitive and self absorbed or analytical about what they do. Probably the creative drive is what makes humanity such an adaptable, innovative species, and gives us our sense of personal accomplishment-whether painting by numbers or knitting quilts or building a shed. I have sometimes wondered if artists whom we reward with fame have truly earned the recognition, for genetically they had nothing to do with their inborn talent and often worked no harder than many obscure artists. Generally, the most valuable members of a society work in the shadows-as farmers and truck drivers and nurses and plumbers-so in a just world I suspect that they would occupy the pedestals, although no doubt artists touch an emotional place that is more irresistible to our passions...

Wedding

My eldest son Forrest and his fiance Barbara were married on the 6th at a hall in Hellertown, PA...The honeymoon was in the Caribbean and they will be moving into their new house near Reading, PA in August. They met in college four years ago and to my eye make a wonderful, unified couple...the bride,her mother and my mother are all named Barbara, so that makes three ;) ...I think I knew that Forrest would have a good life when he fell down the stairs at age one and suffered nothing worse than a weepy shock. I thanked the Heavens then and thank the Angels again on behalf of both of them. God Bless ya guys!

Bears

You may have to zoom in on the black splotches in the pictures, but the one in the tree is a cub and the other is mom sitting at the base in protective mode. She and two cubs had crossed the path a hundred yards ahead of me while I hiked in Chapman State Park, located about ten miles from here. Although black bears are pretty common in Pennsylvania, seeing a family unit is rare, so this was a privileged sighting for me. My camera only possesses a 3x zoom, and a closer shot was not possible, but of course I did not want to disturb them more than necessary.

Resources

This is an oil well-common in the forests around here and growing more common as the price of oil increases. The mountains of Western Pennsylvania were one of the original boom landscapes in the late 1800's when the demand for oil first began. With a barrel of oil at over $100 it has become economical to drill new wells and reopen old ones that may have a few drops left underground. There is currently disagreement about drilling in the Allegheny National Forrest, where private owners have mineral rights to what is beneath the surface, but Legally, it Will be done for the week or two worth of oil left that America will blow out it's collective tailpipe. As I watch food prices around the world rise while the World Food Bank calls on rich nations to face their "moral imperative" to help feed the suddenly desperate hungry-made poorer as the cost of oil inflates everything along the food chain and we grow corn for ethanol - I fear it is a portender of the future which unfortunately many Americans continue to ignore. Where were the solar panels on all those mansions built in the last decade? Where were the gas mileage standards when there were already vehicles making 35 mpg in the 1980's? What has been in the people's heads who have bought all these trucks and SUV's? I do not think that the average citizen understands the gravity of the shortages facing this planet-in the seas, in the energy supply, in the water quality, in the chemical pollution and habitat losses-in everything that an island runs out of when the populations gets too big and consumes too much. Another two billion people in China and India have gotten a taste of the American lifestyle and by God or Hell they want and believe they deserve it as much as we do. I still beat my head against the wall trying to get people to turn the lights off when leaving a room. I suggest to them that they walk or bicycle or buy a scooter to travel the few miles around this town. Maybe it will require $4 or $5 dollars a gallon to force real change in peoples habits, which at the same time might solve some of the ills caused by the obesity epidemic.I have not fallen into despair for I have seen innovation in a few places, but the leadership from Washington has been pathetic for decades, and time is running out. I always used to say to my kids that this was going to be the critical century for humanity, and taught them to live simply by my example, but even in my warnings there was an expectation that the crisis might not come until their children's lifetime... I see now that it has already begun and is a slow process that unfolds right before our eyes. People have simply chosen to ignore it from cowardice or shortsightedness. So carbon limits and all the other innovations that should have begun years ago were ignored in order to "prevent economic hardships"... well, sorry, but the economic and social consequences of the problems facing this world will Not go away merely because people hide their heads in the sand. We spend trillions of dollars on weapons while people go hungry?? Where is the moral outrage in every kitchen and living room? We expect medicare to buy our insulin while we stuff ourselves with Twinkies? Where is the personal responsibility to pick up your own bootstraps? Go walk a mile, and buy a moped, or a hybrid... and turn your damn air conditioning down and cool your feet in a stream ..Might do you and everyone else in this world some good..

Love, or something else

It's been a mixed road in my life so far as female relationships are concerned, and most recently I was labeled a "f-head" by someone who has claimed to be in love with me. For whatever reason, probably my independent nature, I have had no pressing need for companionship and ultimately have either been unwilling or unable to romantically give women what they want. Perhaps because of my inexperience I simply chose unwisely and it is only in middle age that I know clearly the kind of woman I would wish to spend time with. Spontaneous laughter without judgment would be a good start. Many years ago a close friend said of love, " You have to find someone you want to give to", ( ..and who wants to give back ) and that sounds true enough to me. Another workmate once said that love is " an ever growing affinity to be with another person to the point of physical discomfort upon separation". Jackson Browne has many good things to say in his songs, with "Sky Blue and Black" perhaps his definitive masterpiece regarding the hope and madness that relationships draw out of people.
I look around me at couples who have survived the challenges of marriage and stayed friends and lovers, some of whom met one another at a young age when they could not possibly have known what they were looking for, yet somehow they did, so their wisdom or good fate astonishes me. Love certainly does not seem to have anything to do with raw intellect, or age, for I see people of all kinds who make it work and other equally good or bad people who do not. I have friends and acquaintances who have never had loving families, nor known even a few years of loving companionship, nor found the joys and trials of children, and I wonder why the 'hardship has been piled' on them...fate? bad luck? chance?karma?genes? When I look closely at my own life I find that my present emotional reactions and anxieties trace all the way back to the womb, so in one sense our personalities are set in stone and there is little we can do other than recognize our inner truths in hours of need. We are all of one mind in our need for love-where ever and however we find it.
While I am walking I sometimes see an injured or struggling insect and I spontaneously bend over to help it to the side of the road, or help it fly, and show it great compassion without thinking, then later I wonder why that kind of kindness comes so easy to me yet people can be a struggle. At such moments I ask Heaven to help ease the suffering of that fellow creature and hope that Heaven hears me. I don't know if any of it matters but I tell myself that love of any kind is why we are here.

Politics,etc

Has to be Obama...he is the only one with genuine WISDOM and the charisma to unite people-that is, if they are openminded enough to be united...critics bitch that he is all talk, naive, elitist etc... but such people are pessimists who fail to understand that some people actually Believe in cooperation and compromise and work to make it Reality...Obama wisely examined the history of the middle east with the Foresight to Know that invading Iraq was a foolish decision Before we went in...a rare thing among politicians who were ridiculed for it at the time..I respect McCain for his personal integrity, but his policies are far too conservative for a forward looking man...Clinton would fight like hell for what she latches onto, and be a good second choice, but probably lacks the people skills to unite this divided world..In my heart I know that the entire political/economic system is corrupt, but I'm going to vote anyway rather than give in to despair... As for criticisms of Mr. Obama's 'lack' of experience or judgement, people have to remember that the present mess in both the government and the world is the direct result of the decisions and behaviors of mostly middle age experienced white men. And I am supposed to worry that a young black man might do worse?
...postscript:- As I walked into the office just now after my walk, I was told that Bill Clinton was campaigning for Hillary in the high school a mile from here..I never even knew that he was coming to town, but he apparently drew thousands..
...postscript: A poll in the local paper shows support for Clinton at 46.2 %, for McCain 46.2 and Obama 7.7%...which reflects the conservative, rural character of this county...No doubt there is a measure of racism to the Pennsyvania vote, so I am not convinced that the nation is yet ready for a black president..in that regard I am a bit ashamed of my fellow citizens, but closed minds are hard to enlighten...
...postscript: I just returned from the theater in town where author Peter Jenkins gave a talk. He's the guy who wrote "A Walk Across America" about his walk in the 1970's...His journey took five years during which he stopped for months to earn money, so it was an entirely different experience than mine, in some ways more socially and economically integrated.Although I was not impressed with his somewhat superficial, 'pedestrian' speech, I respect that he's still out there giving a positive message about humanity. A few people in the mostly middle aged and elderly audience showed interest in doing their own journey, so I reinforced to them that the negativity in the media was not reflective of the good heart of this nation...Yes-the crazies are out there, but they are given far more press than they deserve

a year later...

I remember odd aspects from the walk, mostly fragments of the places I rested or slept, just visual images and impressions that have no meaning other than that I Do remember them, and for whatever reason they have lodged in my mind. Probably rest stops stay in my memory because they were so pleasurable and necessary, and those few minutes sitting did wonders to rejuvenate me for the next hour. I usually walked seven or eight miles at a stretch, and decided on my breaks by the feel of my feet, so I would look around for a suitable bit of shade or a good view and keep moving until I found one. After stopping during the heat of day, sopping wet with perspiration, I sometimes stripped naked behind a bush or stone, then laid my clothes out to dry as I rested and snacked on whatever I had in my pack-usually a package of donuts or peanuts or a breakfast bar. Generally I removed my sneakers as well and aired out my socks, for there was rarely an opportunity to wash, particularly in the deserts. It was remarkable how enjoyable those short breaks became, maybe because they were all that I needed in that simple life, and more essential than the trivial wants I had been used to.
It became easy to hide in plain sight, so during one stop about ten miles from anywhere I sat on one side of the road while a motorist pulled over to the other side, where a middle age guy got out in order to urinate. Thinking he was alone, he stretched and shuffled and mumbled as he went behind a bush, and only noticed me after he had shifted into gear to speed away. I smiled and waved and figured it was a rare opportunity to see a man as he truly was, uninhibited and wholly natural, like watching a dog in the backyard. Embarassment over bodily functions were the least of my concerns so I became skilled at relieving myself in public without being noticed... Odd what sticks in the memory...
While eating lunch one day behind a small town in western PA I watched Great Blue Herons nesting in trees about two hundred yards away, which was the first time I had seen that species reproducing. To me it was like watching cranes or storks in the Everglades, yet I doubted that many of the townspeople knew they were there, nor would I have seen them if I had not slipped behind a power station to sit on some grass.
Another time I sat beneath a tree near Kansas City sipping from a frozen bottle of Gatorade that a good Samaritan had given to me a few minutes before, and I can visualize the shade and the roots and the grass and the lay of the road and how it twisted and turned beyond that spot and the hot macadam I had followed to get there. There was nothing unique about that place, although by tracing my mind I can remember the grass where I had slept the night before, and the church lawn at which I slept later that evening. When I had wandered over to the neighbors house to explain my presence at the church, which was in an isolated area, he offered me a swim in his pool...the next day was hazy in the morning and 105 degrees... Odd what sticks in the memory...but it's all there somewhere and can be retrieved if I make the effort.

Spring In Warren

3/03/08 :
Walking today I see flies sunning themselves on the wall, which to my spirit is like being reborn, as if some equatorial breeze has penetrated these cold mountains and reminded me that 'yes-the Earth continues to revolve around the sun in the law of the seasons.' Water flows in every street gutter so that by late morning yesterdays icicles have already succumbed to the warmth. Should I expect spring to arrive in the next hour? No, but the door has been left ajar and I shall wedge my foot in the opening.
I hear the sound of water dripping from the eaves as I watch mallards mating on the Conewango, so I know that the months of dreariness finally are nearing their end. People pass by on bicycles in shortsleeves, prematurely perhaps, but that is how determined they are to break the spine of winter. The March sun is warm enough that it is not foolhearty rather a reckless liberation for them.
Spring, my old comrade-where have you been this year? But for a few days in early January I have not talked to you since October. You have tested my patience like a prisoner counting the days to his release. My feet have grown weary of slipping on ice and my cold skin has threatened to penetrate my heart. But the flies...The flies! They buzz as if no time at all has passed, now chase one another like spring lovers. They cannot afford to lament the months of winter so go about their pleasures on this warm afternoon. They are the first spring robins to my eye, more trustworthy than a March thaw, and I stand in the sun beside them to let them fly about my ears. Flies in spring do not bother me as they might in June, rather are my answered prayer more reassuring than rosary beads or ancient texts. They are the preachers Nature sends to me when I am cognizant enough to witness, and tell me to hold on awhile longer; the grass will be budding soon.
By walks end I am a new man, hopeful and jubilant for the spring I had feared might desert us-but that is the power of sunlight in a town blessed with everything else.

(FLY photo courtesy of Jill Olerich-check her out!)http//www.flickr.com/photos/jilloelerichphotos

Winter in Warren

Took a walk today about 1.5 miles west through town, then 1.5 miles on a dirt road loop into the mountains which brought me back to town, where I walked another 1/2 mile loop to visit the bank, the post office and the library, which are within 2 blocks of one another, then headed north a mile to my mother's house where I shoveled her driveway for the 2oth time this winter, then backtracked 1.5 miles to where I started. That walk encapsulated everything that is wonderful and depressing about Warren: All one needs is within a mile and most of what one wants is within 3 miles-so long as one is willing to walk through clouds and/or rain and/or snow for 8 out of 10 days. I literally do not need a car to live here and yet can count on my hands the sunny days since November 2nd. While living in the eastern part of the state I was accustomed to seeing redwing blackbirds and grackles return by late February, so I miss the comparative warmth and sunshine of that area. But the overpopulation there contributes to an overall level of stress and economic inflation that makes the area nearly unlivable. Warren is in the process of trying to revitalize it's downtown into a tourist mecca in order to attract people to the natural beauty of the surrounding mountains, and the town has much to offer for simple, cheap, friendly living- If only it could control the weather! Needless to say, I am ready for spring and look forward to that time of life when I can move south for the winters and return when this town shows it's summer charm...

Irreverent Ambition

I heard from the mother of a teenage son that my walk had inspired him to abandon his plan of living in a box to instead attend art school, and I approved of his decision while advising that he not learn so much in school that it corrupted his creativity. That is, so long as his teachers encouraged him to expand his ideas rather than stifle them, then he would avoid trading one box for another and so find his path sincerely. I must admit that I have a fondness for his first ambition, at least in that it reveals an ability to think outside the box as it were, which is a rare and refreshing thing in this society. There comes a time in every young life when a person must leave behind one's mentors and realize that the only path forward is to follow one's desires regardless of social or economic reward. What the society calls ambition may as easily be called foolheartedness and at length no life is wasted that foremost seeks knowledge and compassion. The challenge for every human being is to nurture one's ideals through every hardship and emerge hopeful and optimistic. It is never too late-Never-to change directions and live according to one's inner directives. If life requires their postponement for good reasons, then do what you must to nurture dreams in your spare time, in your soul, until such moment as you know the time is ripe for their fruition.
To all those aspiring artists who must balance physical survival with creativity, I have always felt that it is an obligation to your Creator that you develop your talent, which ultimately will inspire and reward you in ways unforeseen. Every life matures at it's own pace along intimately private avenues.

Life

Took my mother to the theater in town today to hear the Erie Philhamonic perform Brahams and Beethoven and Barber-a sparse audience but a good show...very talented musicians...They did the Fifth Symphony-not my favorite Beethoven but well done, and hearing a live orchestra make it look easy is always humbling...The Struthers theater is one of those local gems-fully restored to it's prime condition dating from 1883, and this concert was/is part of their 125th Anniversary celebration year...It's an intimate 977 seat venue so there is not a bad seat in the house and we were front row center balcony...

Day to day I'm just working on the book-which is more challenging than the walk- and shoveling snow and musing about the future-comparing motorcycles that I might want to strap to the back of the motorhome and use to explore the country in more depth...That day is years away and dependent on various unknowns, but still rests in the back of my mind. My eldest son will be getting married in June and my youngest son dreams of running the San Francisco marathon with a friend in a couple of years...so both are well on their way in their own lives...People around here seem to be doing well overall, although I suppose that I tend to minimize their complaints sometimes, for two have MS and another is raising the daughter of an irresponsible son and another is dealing with the stress and additional costs of a new house...I think all of them have a deep seated appreciation of the abundance of America, and do not complain except in that casual way that we all question the absurdities of being alive. But I am such a detached member of this world that I really am not qualified to judge it, for much of American life appears trivial to me and I cannot take too seriously some of the things that people worry over. I empathize with a man in town who immigrated from Africa a few years ago and says that Americans appear spoiled to him-that when he visits his homeland the people seem happier despite their material poverty...No doubt in their search for what is missing Americans have become the most materialistic spiritualists the world has ever known..

Random thoughts

> Is Infrequency the primary criteria that defines a 'miracle'? That is, do not the laws of probability claim that the improbable will occur sometimes, and if so, should we not expect a burning bush occasionally? The essential 'miracle' I question is the origin of the natural laws themselves and their relation to our ideas of God.
> I believe that 2008 offers our best choices in presidential candidates in decades, and that Obama possesses the most inate wisdom. John McCain also seems to be a man of integrity and Huckabee is a nice guy, although far too simplistic. If Clinton wins, she should make Obama her Secretary of State and send him around the world to heal the wounds, while also soliciting McCains experience as Secretary of Defense. If Obama wins he should solicit Clintons experience with Washington so that he can hit the ground running. The point is that if they are genuinely interested in moving the country forward they Must work together and utilize one anothers genuine qualities. It is a critical time for America and the world regarding the future of this planet...
> According to scientific estimates, there is more solar energy striking the Earth in a single day than humanity uses in a year. So obviously harnessing it will be the way to go- if wars over non renewable resources do not destroy civilization first.
> All is well in Warren. When the weather cooperates this is a wonderful town, and poor weather is it's worst trait. Snowbirds who travel south in winter and return in summer find this place hard to beat. That may be my future here.
> Hope y'all are having a pleasant winter, and that those of you whom I know are not are doing what you must to keep your faith!