Hmmm

I was going to say something just now, but noticed that I had said something fairly pessimistic in my last entry...and people are still whining about what so and so said twenty years ago and bitching because they can no longer afford 3 bathroom houses...The best news I've read lately is about GM's plug in hybrid to be released in 2010 which will go 40 miles on battery power and another 360 using a small engine to charge the battery, for a total of 400 miles on about 8 gallons of gas. Two years too late but it takes a crisis to spur action and hopefully it's not too late in the larger picture....Part of me believes that a major economic depression would be beneficial to many Americans by adjusting their attitudes to a more appreciative state, but I am outraged that it was obscene greed that put the entire world into this precarious economic condition..The terrorists who want to bring down Capitalism merely need to sit back and watch-no need of bombs...I get weary sometimes watching human nature destroy itself when there is/was so much potential, and I get disgusted that we are killing the rest of the planet along with us. Maybe it is part of the master plan and our reign is nearly over...maybe we just need another shot of hope and courage and cooperation and innovation..I'm just not convinced that people in this nation have it in them anymore..we'll see... If anyone is looking to me all I can say is that I slept in a ditch with a smile on my face so we don't need all the materialism to be happy...but I also sometimes think that my thought processes and opinions diverge so far from the average citizen that I don't even bother to engage in the dialogue anymore

foul moods

....been moping around today, feeling sorry for myself for stupid reasons and expressing cynicism about the state of the world, and while I shall never apologize for such moods nor try to be Pollyannish about life...at the same time that I am feeling like this I am aware that it is a childish, self absorbed condition which shows lack of appreciation for the many good things I have...It is an odd mental condition when problems that seemed trivial yesterday acquire exaggerated gravity today, yet nothing about them has changed and tomorrow they will seem trivial again because, after all, most of them Are trivial and the ones that aren't are not worth obsessing over. There is a certain arrogance to a bad mood, as if in our insolence we honestly presume that we know what is best for the world,or other people,or that whether the Democrats or the Republicans win or whether climate change does or does not occur really makes a difference to the Universe... I have known one thing about foul moods for a long time, which is that I analyze them a lot more than I analyze my good moods, probably because feeling poorly simply feels worse than feeling good,and is more difficult to live with.  Basically, cynicism and irritability are forms of anger, and anger often arises from the pride or fear that comes before we admit to the underlying pain that is their root cause. Until we express our hurt in all it's primal intensity , we lash out or blame external reasons...Over time our self examination, as well as expressing feelings without judgement, and talking, and writing, and music, and walking, and watching nature,and most of all- love and empathy- heal us. That's life... in my heart I never forget that I have it good when I see other people with Real problems...

Paul Rodgers

Through the generosity of a long time guitar buddy, who currently is president of the Quick Chek convenience store chain in the NJ/NY area, a friend and I had the opportunity to meet Paul Rodgers-the lead vocalist in Free and Bad Company who currently tours with Queen and his own bands. They performed mostly old Bad Company and Free songs in what was an excellent performance...there is No doubt that the guy can still sing! The venue was a balloon festival for whom Quick Chek is a sponsor, which is the largest festival east of the Mississippi, rivaled only by another festival in Albuquerque, New Mexico. http://balloonfestival.com/

After the show we waited in a backstage tent until Rodgers came in, where he shook hands and posed for pictures with us, then signed autographs for those who wanted one. He was gracious and friendly the whole time-a genuinely nice guy to show patience for what probably has become a somewhat boring obligation after so many years. I thanked him for all the great music and mentioned some obscure tunes to which he replied "Thanks for remembering! " ...so..for those of us whom have been fans for decades this was a genuine treat-a once in a lifetime opportunity to personally thank an artist whose work we have been admiring since we were kids. In the autumn Rodgers begins another world tour with Queen, so if you get the chance to see them, don't hesitate!

...recently helped a woman move from her house on a hill to an apartment in town, and built some fires to burn the trash, and a few other things, talking and laughing most of the time, and I could not help but notice the spontaneous good vibes. I don't really trust expectations anymore regarding women -considering all the illusions I have followed-but the present moment keeps returning both of us to peaceful understanding and laughter, so...goin with the flow...
Do walls always arise from fear? Of sorrow, or rejection,or some other pain we build shields against all of our lives?... within and between minds...to hold onto some illusion of security or power that benefits noone over time...
..."Boys of mine, as your fortune comes to carry you down the line, and you watch while the changes unfold, and you sort among the stories you'll be told...If some pieces of the picture are hard to find, and the answers to your questions are hard to hold...Take good care of your mother, when you're making up your mind.. Should one thing or another, take you from behind....Though the world may make you hard and wild, and determine how your life is styled, when you've come to feel that you're the only child...Take good care of your brother...Let the disappointments pass, let the laughter fill your glass, let your illusions last until they shatter...Whatever you might hope to find among the thoughts that'll crowd your mind..There won't be many that ever really matter.. Take good care of your mother... and remember to be kind, when the pain of another will serve you to remind.. that there are those who feel themselves exiled..on whom the fortune never smiled, and upon whose lives the heartache has been piled..they're just looking for another lonely child... And when you've found another soul who sees into your own.. take good care of each other...take good care of each other...when you're thinking you're alone...beware of each other... when you're looking for something of your own... take good care of each other...take good care of each other..." -J.Browne

The Future?

I hate to sound alarmist, and sometimes I truly wish I could return to blissful ignorance, but if scientific projections are accurate, there is a real possibility that the oceans will be virtually empty by 2030, and if honeybees continue to die from CCD( colony collapse disorder) the major source of pollination for All flowering plants ( fruits,vegetables,nuts, cotton etc) will vanish by 2035...These-and other enviromental issues- are Extremely Serious problems facing this planet and the future of humanity, nevermind the political and economic consequences of oil and other resource scarcity or global warming...Fossil records show that 90% of all species that have ever existed have vanished, and that we are in the midst of what seems to be another mass extinction, apparently accelerated by humanity through loss of habitat and pollution and everything else we do...I guess I simply have to throw up my hands and say the planet would be better off without us.... even if we survive, our quality of life will be greatly reduced if we lose all our flowers and are forced to eat a gruel made of rice and corn and wheat-which are pollinated by the wind. Yet I still see people whining about trivial complaints and talking heads on the television arguing about inane minutiae...

How can we possibly call ourselves "intelligent" beings when this is our legacy? Is human nature really so selfish and short sighted? ...have I been a dreamer to expect more of my own species? Hopefully this doomsday scenario is only one possibility, yet it is some of the smartest, most informed people alive who are warning of it, so I can't help wondering if everyone else is simply putting their heads in the sand.

Creativity

Here is a work in progress of an artist I know who lives near Allentown, PA ..her website is http://flickr.com/jillo I know for a fact that there were moments of intense frustration when her pen slipped and she thought all was lost, but ultimately she persevered so that the result became the culmination of two weeks of intense, sometimes tedious effort. As a privilege of winning a contest last fall for a painting of her daughter, she has been invited to exhibit several compositions at Lafayette College in Easton, PA, one of which will be the completed version of this drawing.
Art-or any creative endeavor-is often a very solitary occupation, with long hours in isolation that the public never sees, and that is both a source of profound joy and misery for many creative people. There is a quote by John Lennon where he said "If I could be a fucking fisherman, I would, you know. If I had the capabilities of being something other than I am, I would. It's no fun being an artist. You know, like writing, it isn't fun, it's torture. I read about Van Gogh, Beethoven, any of them--I just read an article the other day--well, if they'd had psychiatrists we wouldn't have had Gauguin's great pictures. And these fucking bastards just sucking us to death, that's about all that we can do, is do it like circus animals. I resent being an artist, in that respect, I resent performing for fucking idiots that don't know anything. They can't feel, I'm the one that's feeling, because I'm the one expressing. They live vicariously through me and other artists, and we are the ones...even with the boxers, when Oscar (Bonnaventura) comes in the ring, they are booing the shit out of him. He hit Clay once and they are cheering him. That's what I resent, you know. I'd sooner be in the audience, really, but I'm not capable of it. One of my big things is that I wish I had been a fisherman. I know it sounds silly, and I'd sooner be rich than poor and all that shit, but the pain...I wish I was...ignorance is bliss or something. If you don't know, man, there's no pain, probably there is, but that's how I express it. "

--John Lennon

...and there are Many artists who struggle and never obtain the fame and fortune of Lennon, so obviously there is something deep within them, a creative compulsion that cannot be resisted, and it is all they can do to live as they must. I suppose that carpenters and mechanics and other trades people-if they are any good- also enter a transcendent zone in which they commune with something larger than themselves to figure out a problem, where time slips away and they have the same eureka! moments as happens with artists. In that sense I do not think artists are different from other people although perhaps more sensitive and self absorbed or analytical about what they do. Probably the creative drive is what makes humanity such an adaptable, innovative species, and gives us our sense of personal accomplishment-whether painting by numbers or knitting quilts or building a shed. I have sometimes wondered if artists whom we reward with fame have truly earned the recognition, for genetically they had nothing to do with their inborn talent and often worked no harder than many obscure artists. Generally, the most valuable members of a society work in the shadows-as farmers and truck drivers and nurses and plumbers-so in a just world I suspect that they would occupy the pedestals, although no doubt artists touch an emotional place that is more irresistible to our passions...

Wedding

My eldest son Forrest and his fiance Barbara were married on the 6th at a hall in Hellertown, PA...The honeymoon was in the Caribbean and they will be moving into their new house near Reading, PA in August. They met in college four years ago and to my eye make a wonderful, unified couple...the bride,her mother and my mother are all named Barbara, so that makes three ;) ...I think I knew that Forrest would have a good life when he fell down the stairs at age one and suffered nothing worse than a weepy shock. I thanked the Heavens then and thank the Angels again on behalf of both of them. God Bless ya guys!