Halloween

       This Halloween Beth and I did a small experiment of sorts by which we set our container of candy on the edge of the porch, just at the top of the stairs. We sat in the chairs and welcomed the kids as they approached and encouraged them to take some. They all did but showed mild hesitation at our unorthodox method and we noticed that only 4 out of 23 children said 'thank you'. So we modified our approach and personally held the candy bucket while on the porch and later when we went back inside the house. In the latter cases all of the children said 'thank you' and seemed much more relaxed about the whole encounter. There was something about holding the candy container that personalized the exchange and made it more specifically from us rather than the impersonal top of the stairs. That so minor a difference would increase the politeness and social 'civility' of the kids was surprising, but real.
    Research has shown that merely holding a warm drink versus a cold drink causes people to regard strangers as more trustworthy, so there are many ways we respond to the world- sometimes unconsciously. This Halloween observation seems to be one of them.