foul moods

....been moping around today, feeling sorry for myself for stupid reasons and expressing cynicism about the state of the world, and while I shall never apologize for such moods nor try to be Pollyannish about life...at the same time that I am feeling like this I am aware that it is a childish, self absorbed condition which shows lack of appreciation for the many good things I have...It is an odd mental condition when problems that seemed trivial yesterday acquire exaggerated gravity today, yet nothing about them has changed and tomorrow they will seem trivial again because, after all, most of them Are trivial and the ones that aren't are not worth obsessing over. There is a certain arrogance to a bad mood, as if in our insolence we honestly presume that we know what is best for the world,or other people,or that whether the Democrats or the Republicans win or whether climate change does or does not occur really makes a difference to the Universe... I have known one thing about foul moods for a long time, which is that I analyze them a lot more than I analyze my good moods, probably because feeling poorly simply feels worse than feeling good,and is more difficult to live with.  Basically, cynicism and irritability are forms of anger, and anger often arises from the pride or fear that comes before we admit to the underlying pain that is their root cause. Until we express our hurt in all it's primal intensity , we lash out or blame external reasons...Over time our self examination, as well as expressing feelings without judgement, and talking, and writing, and music, and walking, and watching nature,and most of all- love and empathy- heal us. That's life... in my heart I never forget that I have it good when I see other people with Real problems...